From Imposter Syndrome to Software Engineer
My parents immigrated to the United States from Poland in the early 90’s. They came to the land of opportunity in hopes of giving their children a chance to pursue their ambitions in ways that they were unable to in their home country. The immense sacrifice that my parents made was one that I will forever be grateful for. This opportunity for my siblings and I, however, came with its own set of obstacles and the most prominent being imposter syndrome.
My high school promoted STEM education with a focus on getting students college-ready and admitted into a higher education program of their choice. For me, going to college felt like this big goal with many hurdles to overcome. Lurking amongst the typical challenges that students face, such as financing a higher education or deciding which institution to enroll in, was imposter syndrome. My thoughts were consumed with self-doubt. Will I be able to finish my college education? How can I be competitive while having peers who are not first generation students? Am I smart enough to go to college?
With the months of self-doubt occurring in parallel to my college application process, the day comes where I receive the first of my several college acceptances. I was surprised to see that I was admitted into my program of choice, with a scholarship! The weeks go by and I receive my next set of acceptances and with each one, the goal of going to college became more real. The self-doubt reduced a bit and I could see how proud and excited my parents were to see that their immense sacrifices were paying off. Finally, I received in the mail the colorfully decorated folder from Seattle University with a letter admitting me to the university and to the Computer Science program. It was this acceptance letter that I finally felt like I could say “I made it!”
Being the first in my family to embark on this college journey was the next big obstacle that stood in front of me. Through those years in college, I worked incredibly hard through the ups and downs. I would still experience imposter syndrome being in classes with peers who were all incredibly bright and many of whom were legacy students. Through the many nights of wondering whether I had what it took to successfully graduate, I found that these feelings fueled the fire of my determination. I was determined to complete my Computer Science degree and to reach my goal of becoming a software engineer. Before I knew it, my four years at Seattle University flew by and I graduated with honors with a degree in my passion.
Today, I am fortunate enough to say that I achieved that goal as I recently completed my first year as a full stack developer at Expeditors International. In hindsight, I felt that I finally “made it” as a first generation American. Not only was I able to get into my dream college and degree program, but I was able to navigate college with all the resources I found and connections that I made along the way. Now that I have met one of my goals, I have a list of new goals that I am determined to reach for. This influenced my decision to apply to the First Gen Cohorts program. I was looking for a support system to help me refine my goals and hold me accountable to them. I would say that this program has given so much more than I anticipated.
In the First Gen Cohorts program, I see value provided through the group activities and the one-on-one sessions with my coach. The biweekly group sessions focus on different facets of our professional lives. Topics ranging from goal setting to evaluating company culture to emotional intelligence have expanded my knowledge on what it means to be a professional in the workforce. The opportunity to engage in dialogues with my first generation peers and receive input from the coaches and founders of the program is invaluable. In addition to the group setting, I find the one-on-one coaching sessions to be critical in keeping me on track with my goals. It is refreshing to have the attention of a seasoned professional to listen to my goals and aspirations and then help me craft a plan to meet those goals. My coach, Korey Strozier, and I meet on a monthly basis to evaluate my progress towards my goals, discuss positive and negative experiences from the last month, and address any blockers. This career coaching experience, which is tailored to my circumstances and goals, has provided me with more value than the generic career-readiness workshops that I have participated in in the past.
Reflecting back on that feeling of “I made it,” I ask myself what does that mean? For me, the feeling of accomplishment was achieved when I crossed the stage to receive my undergraduate diploma and secured a job in the field I wanted to work in. This was a point that my parents put emphasis on in my youth; my parents both worked in manual labor jobs that were physically demanding and did not provide them with much financial security. They stressed that education would help my siblings and I have jobs and lives that were more comfortable and financially prosperous. Looking through this lens, I am fortunate to say that "I made it.” I do think there are also other aspects of this sense of accomplishment that I now consider. Enjoying the type of work and feeling a sense of fulfilment with the work that I am doing is just as important to me. Software engineering gives me this chance to exercise my creativity and critical thinking on a daily basis, which keeps me happy and engaged in my work. I also get to have a direct impact on the employees at Expeditors by coding new features for the company’s warehouse management system software. Frequently, I get to hear the positive feedback regarding my team’s work and it is absolutely motivating.
Looking forward, I have my eyes set on new goals. I am now aiming for my long term goal of advancing towards becoming a principal developer. This dream will fulfill my desire to become a part of the driving force in the technical architecture for projects.
In closing, I’ve seen my criteria for “making it” shift with the different stages of my life. I believe each goal has been a driving force for me at each of these stages, influencing how I spend my free time, what I read, what I dream about. The one question I would like to leave you, as the reader, with is “What does ‘making it’ mean to you at this point in your life?”